My wife is Filipina and I ge the impression they are a bit different from other JWs in regard to shunning family - my sister-in-law is Df'd but the family does not exclude her but she does sort of oerpate ont eh margtin of the family. I wonder wheterh there are any differences with Filipino JWs. I get the feeling that less of them fade or leave voluntarily once baptized but weopudl like some confirmation of whether that is correct.
Frazzled UBM
JoinedPosts by Frazzled UBM
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Any Filipino XJWs here?
by Frazzled UBM inmy wife is filipina and i ge the impression they are a bit different from other jws in regard to shunning family - my sister-in-law is df'd but the family does not exclude her but she does sort of oerpate ont eh margtin of the family.
i wonder wheterh there are any differences with filipino jws.
i get the feeling that less of them fade or leave voluntarily once baptized but weopudl like some confirmation of whether that is correct..
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165
Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
I agree we need to be wary of moral relativism. I think one area of agreement with JWs is the importance of the biblical principles of 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. This is fundamental to Judeo-Christian ethics and ethical principles morfe broacly. Also it created a measure of security in society because it suppressed man's innate self-interest and helped civilization to reduce conflict and work together to achieve mutual goals and intellectual development and progress.
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Where Are You From?
by finallysomepride inalot of members don't have a flag or country name beside their user name, and well frequently one doesn't know where that particular person is from, tell us your country, state, county or what ever you feel like giving out.
if you are going to post please at least devulge your country.. me, i'm originally from taranaki, new zealand via auckland.
for the most of this decade i have been living & working in brisbane, queensland, australia.. .
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Frazzled UBM
Aussie living in London married to a Filipina JW. Apart from UK and Australia (Sydney) I have lived for at least 2 years in each of Egypt, Mexico, Hong Kong and Japan so I am a bit of a gypsy.
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Dysfunctional witness families
by concerned2 inbeing raised as a jw i feel dirty even posting here.
my life growing up was one filled with fear.
armageddon was preached to us day/night.
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Frazzled UBM
I have talked about my wfie's family elsewhere but thought I would add some observtions here as well. When I was first introduced to them altogether at a dinner I felt there was something odd in the lack of communication and banter which happens in my family (though my family has its own dysfunction for other reasons).
In particular her brother absented himself as soon as we finished eating and went outside. It later became apparent that he is clearly gay (all his friends are gay and he has never had a girlfriend and is in his 30s) but not acknowledged by the family as gay and did not get baptized and is barely tolerated by his father even though he is the smartest, best educated and most talented person in the family.
Her sister was disfellowshipped for having two kids out of wedlock. Her other sister was pregnant out of wedlock (but not df'd becasue she was never baptized) and her boyfriend looked decidedly uncomfortable. Also another sister commtted suicide a few years back by eating rat poison because the elders threatened to df her if she didn't return to her new JW husband after she ran away from him. But my wife does not hold the eldes responsbile - she says they tried to 'save' her. Guess who she balmes - yes the victim - her sister.
So denial and not talking about stuff is pretty much a survival tactic in the family and unfortunately my wife has brought that model to our relationship.
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Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
Cheers Outlaw - thanks for that clarification
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165
Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
Hi Miss.Fit - yes it is very helpful. I have gone through a huge learning curve over the last 18 months since my wife got reinstated and I have been reading everything I can to try to find the magic bullet to get her to see what I see (and to work out how to protect my son from indoctrination) but I realise the approach I have been adopting of bombarding her with everything I see that is wrong with the WBTS has been failing miserably so I am challenging myself to find a different approach and so being able to express everything that is in my head here I hope will help me to take a softly softly incremental more listening and less talking approach with my wife. Even if it doesn't result in her coming around it will at least help our relationship which seems to lurch from crisis to crisis. Frazzled
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165
Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
Most for all Miss.Fit - please say what you are thinking and don't be intimidated. I am new but I get the impression that this is an accepting envirmonment and even if we say things that make you feel uncomfortable don't be puit off and don't hold back in saying what you think. For me people like you opening up on this site is golddust.
Hi Outlaw - as a newcomer to the site who is not an ex-JW but who has strong opinions I am conscious that I could piss off members who have been there and done that. But I have found that expressing what I think and feel here is incredibly therapeutic and for older members I can understand that it may be tedious to have someone new turn up and start going over stuff that has been discussed previously ad naseum so sorry for that. But I crave your indulgence. I expect I will settle down in time but for the time being I am loving being able to post stuff here even where to yhou it may be stating the bleeding obvious.
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165
Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
Hi Miss.Fit - I feltg for your very genuine post. I imagine this site is very confronting for you and I applaud your courage in coming herfe. Please don't be put off by tghe vehemence fo some of tghe things expressed here. try to listen to what people are sayhing about their expereinces ion the W organisation. I understand that you ahve been tgaught to respect the organisation. My wife si the same - she cannot bear it when I criticize the organisation. Please do not run away - stay and listen and see if you can relate to what people say here and start to really think about what you have been taught to believe and whether deep down you accept those beliefs. Think whether the expereinces described here are similar to your experience. Most of all be brave and curious and grasp what life has to offer. I really with you all the best as you embark on your new journey.
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hello. pls help. getting married soon. afraid i won't be happy because wtbts said so.
by seasickbumblebee inalshello.
i'm a practicing jw.
finally decided to create an account to see whether you could all help me.. so i am engaged to this wonderful wonderful man and in three months time we'll be married.
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Frazzled UBM
One of the methods of control is to enforce confession of intimate matters to destroy the privacy boundary. To a non-JW what happened between you and your fiancee is a matter for the two of you only. Even if you are not ready to leave the religion you should insist to your fiancee that what goes on between the two of you in your relationship is not a matter for the organization or its functionaries but is only for the two of you and that is non-negotiable. Ask him whether he would like to invite the GB into your marital bed? If he will not accept that there are intimate areas of your life in which the organisation cannot intrude then run the other direction fast.
My JW wife was df'd because I impregnated her out of wedlock. She only confessed when her belly became too obvious and then when she repented after we got married to get reinstated I think (hope) she kept her confession to the minimum required for the purpose and event though I question her loyalty sometimes I have absolute confidence that she would not disclose anything intimate to the elders. I am also pretty sure that she has not disclosed to them how much of an OPPOSER I am for fear of the problems that might cause.
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165
Board of bitterness
by 1009 ini always was a critical jw, now df and agnost.
but still this religion fascinates me.
in my eyes most jw are very sincere, but dumb sheep.. this board is filled with ex-jw.
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Frazzled UBM
Notwithstanding what I just said I found this statement by 1009 interesting:
"I'm wondering why my experiences are so different from most of the others here. But I too felt like an outsider. Like I was the only one that didn't blindly follow what the WTG said, but because I was convinced that their explanation was right. Maybe that is a clue to understand why I am not as disappointed as others."
I think this is revealing because it shows that 1009 suffers from the delusion of choice which the WBTS is good at inculcating into its membership - that is he thinks that he is not a blind follower but objectively evaluated the WTBS dogma and determined that their explanation is correct. Given your history 1009 I think you are engaged in some WBTS generated self-delusion. I challenge you to really know yourself and your personal history and how the WBTS has influenced your thinking throughout your life and actually start to question that thinking in a meaningful way. Until you do that I don't think you can say your beliefs are not based on following the thinking patterns that have been implanted in you by the WBTS.